Being Happy Alone

I find sometimes the hardest thing to do, can be the best thing for you, kinda like swallowing medicine.

It’s one thing to be alone in private and another to be alone in a crowd of people.

What I mean by this is we often feel at peace being alone in our rooms and at home, however going out by ourselves can be stressful.

Why is it good to be alone:

• Clears your head
• Recharge your social battery
• You can do what you please
• Gives you a break from stressful situations and places (family, home, friends, school…)
• Boosts creativity

With nothing but my good friend, Anxiety, to keep me company, I used to dislike going outside alone. I’ve often worried about things going wrong, doing something embarrassing, or having to talk to strangers.

Problems we may have with being alone :

• overthinking and interruptive thoughts
• feeling lonely
• nothing to do
• Feeling like the whole world is watching you

I’ve definitely felt every one of those issues. Mainly a lot of this has to do with self perception, confidence and esteem. I only thought highly of myself when others praised me, laughed at my jokes or enjoyed my presence. Without the approval of others, I never liked myself. I felt awkward, out of place.

Being alone in public, made it feel like everyone was watching me. Although, now I’m starting to grow into thinking that 1) that’s not true and 2) even if it was, why should I care? (It’s not easy to change one’s mindset but I’m getting there. *note to self, make this a post* )

How I started enjoying time alone:

• Walking a scenic route – Going somewhere that has a lot to see is a good way to take your mind off of …well, everything? I love window shopping, nature walking, and taking in everything I haven’t seen before.
• Bringing something enjoyable – Whether it’s a book, headphones, or even a cup of coffee. I usually bring my headphones and listen to music when I go out. The world feels more like my own movie with my music as the soundtrack. **Note to make a post about this as well**
• Treat yourself – I love to stop at a bakery and pick up a cake or cookie. Maybe you rather picking up a book or a plant or a bottle of wine? Perhaps treating yourself is getting your nails done or walking through a field of flowers.
• Taking pictures – Pictures can help document a moment. It gives you something to look back on. The photos I’ve took when going out reminds me that I can enjoy my day out alone.
• Finding a familiar place – When feelings nervous or anxious, I like to take a minute and find somewhere familiar to pause and breathe. Sometimes a familiar place for me is a library, a starbucks, or a park, heck even Target or an art store. Just somewhere that I’ve been before where I can have a break and recollect myself. A good outside grounding technique is specifically naming everything you see: a tall brown oak tree growing pink flowers, six cracks in the sidewalk, 2 blue cars .. etc. I like calling out all the cars I see to myself as I take several deep breaths.

Now, my first time being alone felt a bit uncomfortable, and so did the second and the third, but it felt better with time. I took this feeling as a feeling of growth.

A reminder:

Take note of all the things that went right. What did you see that made you smile? 

Reasons to be proud of yourself:

• You tried
• You went out alone
• You made it through the day

What do you like to do outdoors? What makes you happy?

Question of the post – Comment and let me know